i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
