So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
