Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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