In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
