i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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