I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this beer tastes like vomit already
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
