that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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