I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
