i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
