You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize