rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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