So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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