We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
