No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
