Fuck appropriateness.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
