Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
