Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize