I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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