Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
