See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
