I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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