Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
