The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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