so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
