I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
