just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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