went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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