yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Non-Jews are for practice
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
