Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
zippers are such a cool invention
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize