obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
