It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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