Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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