We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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