I got chris browned last night
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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