Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
