is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
