a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Four minutes until I can fart!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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