I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
