so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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