I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
