All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
