Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were trust falling into bushes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
