Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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