I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
