Having a random hookup so left but love u
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
