I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
