And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
