Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
