You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if only i could text you this smell
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
