glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
