if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
