is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
