Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
