So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize