My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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