Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
