lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
